Already got asked if we're dating
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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