Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
