It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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