is your mom at the bar?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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