your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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