is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
