Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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