this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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