i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
