well I can't set my house on fire every night
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
