why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
