That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.