Swine flu. Run for my life!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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