i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
