that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Randomize