i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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