let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
