just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
