You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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