We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
