Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
