i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
