Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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