We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
