shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is wine microwaveable?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
