it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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