Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
