so let's talk penis.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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