My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
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Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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