It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I love black thongs
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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