Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
