Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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