There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
