I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
