How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
