I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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