idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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