At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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