This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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