trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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