Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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