There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
