I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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