You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
