Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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