Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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