WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...