I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sex while Star Warsing is the best