you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?