im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
