she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
