so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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