i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
