But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
