My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
