I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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