Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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