I don't think brook has ever known best
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize