I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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