Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
