My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I will pee on everything he values.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
