I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
