Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
