Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
