Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.