Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation

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  (828): so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/xwig
  Replies (33) Good night (14906) Bad night (749)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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  (401): so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now" http://tfl.nu/ut9w
  Replies (54) Good night (1084) Bad night (9059)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

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  (660): Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport... http://tfl.nu/e5jz
  Replies (12) Good night (4286) Bad night (997)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after

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  (509): She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after http://tfl.nu/tns7
  Replies (40) Good night (14650) Bad night (1075)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

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  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2432) Bad night (978)
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  (420): View more from

  The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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  (420): The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome http://tfl.nu/b0jj
  Replies (16) Good night (3672) Bad night (848)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

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  (608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu
  Replies (12) Good night (4287) Bad night (900)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.

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  (819): I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me. http://tfl.nu/9k8k
  Replies (4) Good night (1198) Bad night (2241)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.

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  (215): Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me. http://tfl.nu/119t
  Replies (10) Good night (3248) Bad night (1519)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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  (717): Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated. http://tfl.nu/4rw5
  Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (1843)
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  (516): View more from New York

  What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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  (516): What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner? http://tfl.nu/aj21
  Replies (12) Good night (504) Bad night (1525)
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  (353): View more from

  The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend

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  (353): The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend http://tfl.nu/0v3z
  Replies (4) Good night (1013) Bad night (526)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  This baby is an asshole

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  (517): This baby is an asshole http://tfl.nu/mlzh
  Replies (11) Good night (1904) Bad night (799)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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  (970): A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is. http://tfl.nu/20fb
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (556)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball

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  (732): That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball http://tfl.nu/r3bp
  Replies (7) Good night (610) Bad night (661)

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