i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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