So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...