Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

(623): View more from Arizona

What did she do!?

(602): View more from Arizona

I didn't tell her...

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(602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351

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(224): View more from Illinois

Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'

(224): View more from Illinois

Im going to research this theory. . .

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(224): Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex' (224): Im going to research this theory. . . http://tfl.nu/7c0k

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(407): View more from Florida

I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate

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(407): I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate http://tfl.nu/yf54

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(281): View more from Texas

After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.

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(281): After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses. http://tfl.nu/xdpj

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.

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(617): The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke. http://tfl.nu/s0m0

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(519): View more from Ontario

While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

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(519): While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf. http://tfl.nu/v6r3

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(720): View more from Colorado

I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

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(720): I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was http://tfl.nu/iq7q

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(205): View more from Alabama

I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

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(205): I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face. http://tfl.nu/ce47

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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(613): I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked. http://tfl.nu/z7yx

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(720): View more from Colorado

Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.

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(720): Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from. http://tfl.nu/0y1z

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(408): View more from California

Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.

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(408): Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday. http://tfl.nu/vfie

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(620): View more from Kansas

Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.

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(620): Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there. http://tfl.nu/1ncw

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...

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(617): Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed... http://tfl.nu/fkp9

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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(+44): Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club http://tfl.nu/ri4h

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(502): View more from Kentucky

If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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(502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5

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