Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

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(917): I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/srjh

Replies (8) Good night (3051) Bad night (636)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

Um.. is it mean if I say yes?

(623): View more from Arizona

How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"

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(623): Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years? (1-623): Um.. is it mean if I say yes? (623): How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?" http://tfl.nu/602v

Replies (35) Good night (772) Bad night (2463)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Say it nicely.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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(303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned

Replies (51) Good night (16634) Bad night (1477)
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(256): View more from Alabama

He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

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(256): He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front. http://tfl.nu/08qp

Replies (9) Good night (7665) Bad night (1166)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

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(403): I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse http://tfl.nu/d3ev

Replies (20) Good night (8659) Bad night (928)
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(917): View more from New York City

and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.

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(917): and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower. http://tfl.nu/wwsw

Replies (9) Good night (2665) Bad night (1014)
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(207): View more from Maine

Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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(207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y

Replies (42) Good night (9563) Bad night (1506)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.

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(502): He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug. http://tfl.nu/8k23

Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (1559)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

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(785): Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid. http://tfl.nu/egf9

Replies (7) Good night (2218) Bad night (809)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life

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(330): I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life http://tfl.nu/2qsb

Replies (2) Good night (979) Bad night (461)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!

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(541): Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE! http://tfl.nu/iu61

Replies (6) Good night (837) Bad night (405)
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(302): View more from Delaware

apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.

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(302): apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask. http://tfl.nu/f2ag

Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (251)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth

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(301): I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth http://tfl.nu/nt7d

Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (370)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher

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(519): He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher http://tfl.nu/uiek

Replies (7) Good night (844) Bad night (339)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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(703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk

Replies (0) Good night (839) Bad night (305)

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