I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!