I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life